The Envious Boy-friend

By "boy-friend" I don't mean an actual boyfriend, but someone who is the male friend of a female. This guy is always hanging around, and usually secretly in love with his female friend, even though she has no interest in him. He goes everywhere with her and tries to sabotage her relationships by telling her all the things that are wrong with her potential beaus. He also tries to show up other males who may or may not be interested in this girl, only because he fears that he may never have a chance if she hooks up with someone else.

Usually this character is portrayed sympathetically in movies, but in actuality, this fellow is quite annoying. However, the girl involved usually can make her own decisions, and the jealous boy-friend will usually be too nice to step in and overtly cause any problems.

SUCKINESS RATING: 4

The Egotistical Bouncer

This guy usually stands outside a busy club, wearing a suit, carrying some type of walkie-talkie/phone and constantly looking angry. Unless the guest happens to be a flirtatious beautiful girl, he is constantly barking orders at people, either to have their IDs ready, to stand single file, or any other command you would normally expect out of an airport security official. While this is more common in the big cities (New York, Chicago, Los Angeles), it can also be found at any of the more "exclusive" clubs in smaller cities. This man generally suffers from some sort of delusion that he is the last defense of this club, protecting it from common riff-raff who dare to wear jeans, t-shirts, or (god forbid) sneakers. He feels that his job is to teach people that no matter how smart you are, you must bow before his 'roid-ravaged body in order to have the chance to enter a room filled with drunk people trying to have sex with one another. While he stands outside in the freezing cold (or blistering heat, depending on the time of year), he feels that it is necessary that you respect his wishes of standing in a single-file line, lest all hell break loose. However, since the amount of time spent with this person is minimal, his suckiness rating is minimal.

SUCKINESS RATING: 4