The Office Suck-up

It is no small coincidence that the term "Suck-up" has the word "suck" in it. This person truly sucks. At office functions, he seeks out the highest-ranking person, and attaches himself, barnacle-like, to his subject. (S)He divides his time between laying on a fair amount of compliments and BS, and looking for even higher-ranking people. He can usually be detected by his unusually loud laughter accompanying the dumbest of his subject's jokes and his inability to leave his subject alone despite all attempts made to escape. This person is also the same one who will give no more than a cursory glance in your direction, despite spending all day speaking to you about god-knows-what. Chances are that this person would fart on the elevator, and then blame it on you.

Suckiness Rating: 7

The "Slow in the Fast Lane" Person

This person has no idea what is going on. Driving at 55 miles per hour while traffic speeds by at 65 or 70 miles per hour, this person seems unfazed by this, and keeps his/her eyes on the road ahead. Even if someone begins to tailgate this sucky individual, there is no attempt made to move aside. Even worse is when this person moves at the same speed as the person in the next lane. This phenomenon seems to have run rampant in Dallas, although it does occur in other cities. While infuriating, this person is unwittingly sucky, so (s)he gets a break on the "Suckiness Rating."

Suckiness Rating: 4

Sucky Criteria

Criteria for listing the type of people who suck:

1) We won't include people who "legally" suck: Yes, it would be easy to say that murderers, child molesters, and people who bilk old people out of money suck. But that's not what this site is about (although most of the things that sucky people do SHOULD be punishable by law).

2) This is about people whose characters suck: There won't be things about how someone on "American Idol" sucks as a singer, or how I suck as a golfer. While those things may be true, it's not really the type of "suckability" that should be punished.

3) The suckiness of these people should be fairly objective: We're not going to talk about how someone sucks because he is a fan of a certain team or likes a certain activity (unless, of course, engaging in this activity requires someone's inherent suckiness to surface), because those people probably think that we suck, and back and forth, blah, blah, blah. These are people who universally suck.

4) No naming of names or referring to specific people: This is not a site for personal attacks. If you want to do that junior high crap, take that weak tot action elsewhere. The only case where we might name names is if we are referring to a news article about someone who did something sucky (and it doesn't violate Criterion #1).

There will also be a "Suckiness Rating" assigned for each of these people, on a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is "unwittingly sucky, and you feel kind of sorry for the person," and 10 is "this person should be covered with barbeque sauce and eaten alive by Star Jones."

There are probably other rules which will apply here, but what can I say? I suck at writing this stuff.

Sucky Intro

This is a site dedicated to people who suck. Now, this won't be some hate list about certain people in our lives, or some junior high school crap like that. This is a place where we will describe different types of people who exhibit sucky behavior; a list, if you will, of character traits of people who suck.